A Parent’s New Year’s Resolution


Over this Christmas holiday, I had a great conversation with a couple about their family’s new year’s resolution. Usually left up to individuals, having the whole family in on a resolution is new for them, but the concept they are embracing reminds me of a great truth about parenting.

The problem is the temperature in the house. (You have to have a problem or you wouldn’t need a resolution, huh?) Temperature? Well, what I mean is, the temperature of relationships … It’s too hot.

I listened while they explained that there is simply too much fighting, bickering, and general unhealthy dialogue between all parties. Dad has a short temper, Mom is tired of the kids fighting and feels like she’s always yelling, the kids are at each others’ throat and on edge because of the threat that is Dad. The temperature is too high.

Their resolution: To communicate in a tone that is quiet, slow, and kind regardless of circumstances … or do not communicate at all.

Interestingly, they have a chart posted outlining what to do if something breaks out between siblings.

1) Communicate as stated above. If that doesn’t work, then …

2) Communicate to a parent the same way about the situation.

The concept is really one of the basics of parenting. One of the primary roles of the parent is to set the atmosphere of the home. It is my wife’s and my job to facilitate an environment that allows our kids to develop in a healthy manner according to our system of values … and so it is with you. 

I often remind our athletes, you are either a thermostat or a thermometer. You are either setting the temperature (thermostat) or you are simply reflecting the temperature (thermometer). You are either in control or you are being controlled.

A great reminder for us all heading into a new year.


About Kris Hogan

With a 16-year educational tenure under his belt, Kris Hogan has spent the last nine years working at Grapevine Faith High School in Grapevine, Texas. In addition to sitting on its administrative team, Hogan also pulls double duty as Faith’s head football coach. Hogan also was the subject of Remember Why You Play, a 2008 book by sports columnist and author David Thomas that chronicled the lives, struggles and successes of Coach Hogan and his team. READ MORE→