My Kid is Just Wired Like This…And it Makes Me Crazy!

I spoke to a high-energy man this past week who was lamenting his son’s lack of enthusiasm and zest for life. Dad is a self-made, no excuses, outwork the masses, type A personality. He can’t believe his son has a melancholy personality … and he’s frustrated about it.

I know a very calm, poised, gentle-spirited family … except for that third kid. He is loud, proud, and very aggressive and both parents are “afraid of what he’ll turn into!”

One thing that all parents recognize is the differences between their own kids. Raised in the same house, same values, same routines … you know what I’m talking about.

While we as parents must not enable or even tolerate habits that are not in our value system, we had better recognize that kids are different from each other and different from us, and if we do not engage them according to their natural makeup, we risk losing serious influence in their lives.

  • Aggressive kids are great! They make super CEOs, soldiers, and crusaders for just and right causes!
  • That laid-back kid who has an “old soul” even though he is only 6 years old will make a great college professor and influence thousands in his lifetime. That’s why he’s wired a certain way.
  • That little girl who is a tomboy now … we could go on and on.

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old. he will not depart from it.”

The phrase, “in the way he should go,” is often misapplied. The assumption is that it means “in the way of righteousness and the true religion”—a course that all, both young and old, ought to follow—but his is not what Solomon meant here.

The Hebrew phrase from which the words in the way he should go” means “according to the tenor of his way”—that is, in harmony with his disposition, his natural talents, and his individual character.

We don’t want to change them—we want to channel them! Love them the way they are made!



About Kris Hogan

With a 16-year educational tenure under his belt, Kris Hogan has spent the last nine years working at Grapevine Faith High School in Grapevine, Texas. In addition to sitting on its administrative team, Hogan also pulls double duty as Faith’s head football coach. Hogan also was the subject of Remember Why You Play, a 2008 book by sports columnist and author David Thomas that chronicled the lives, struggles and successes of Coach Hogan and his team. READ MORE→